- Sebastien Grynko
One of the most important factor of a successful life. Before we start we need to define what is confidence. Of course this is only my humble definition. I am not saying it should be added to the merriam webster dictionary.
Here goes, confidence in my opinion is the ability and capacity to feel at ease and at peace with oneself regardless of the circumstances. It is the skill that enables us to believe in our own potential, and destroy our doubts in pursuit of our purpose, regardless of our current qualifications, competence or lack thereof.
I was listening to this amazing Ted talk by Dr Ivan Joseph about self-confidence. In his own words self-confidence is a skill that can be trained. What is the best way to be more skilled ? Repetition!
That’s the only real thing you need to improve your confidence skill. You need to be constantly repeating your (positive) self-talk. If you don’t have a list of your qualities and the good in you then make one!
Take a piece a paper and draw a line in the middle. On the left write down things that are positive about you and your life. On the right side write things that are negative about you. For a lot us writing on the right will be pretty easy.
However writing on the left might take some work. It might take you some effort but you need to do it. Trust me. You have some things to write on the left side. It could be something as small as opening a door for an elderly person.
Once you start writing those small things you will get to writing more and more. Ok. Now that you have filled that list. Tear it down the middle and throw the negative side in the dustbin or even better burn it.
You don’t need to criticise yourself. The word and other people will do it for you. Once you focus your self-talk on the good. You will automatically decrease the negative in you own character. Do not take this for granted.
Repeat and repeat some more. Keep this list close to you and your heart. Add to it if you need to. Read it during trying times. It will you weather through the storm.
Get away from people who discourage you and do not believe in you. People have their own agenda and you don’t need be around people, who belittle you in any way, shape or form.
Jocko Willink, former navy seal and all around badass, mentioned on his podcast a few things you can do to be more self confident. Get stronger, workout, take up lessons in martial arts. Read. Get smarter. Stand up and stay straight. Pick up a skill and get better at it.
Jordan in his famous Nike commercial said that he missed more than 9000 shots. He lost almost 300 games. 26 times he took the game winning shot and missed. The ads end this way. MJ says :
I failed over and over again and that’s why I succeeded.
We can all learn from that. What we can learn is the will to try and fail. Even when in doubt and when the odds are against us. Take a risk. Get out of your comfort zone and little by little you will get better and also more confident.
I will finish this article by giving you the final and probably most important aspect of confidence. Perseverance
You need to keep on moving forward no matter what. As you move along with humility and through the obstacles. Your confidence will grow and your doubts will be crushed.
- Sebastien Grynko