Be accountable for your life
Be accountable for your life
- Sebastien Grynko
In life we have little to no control on the vast majority of things happening to us and around us. However we do have some “control” over our actions and behaviours.
I want to make this clear. We do have genes and conditioning that predisposes us to act a certain way. We do react, most of the time, instead of act. We could argue for days, that there is no such thing as free will.
We could make a good case for it but those are debates that do not necessarily serve us, because we are here to do the best of what we CAN with what we HAVE. Being accountable is of the upmost importance and it is often overlooked.
Being accountable does mean you have to own up to your fuckups but it also means, you have a way to point the needle in the right direction. We get caught up in the former, then we tend to forget the latter. Some of us might only resort to excuses to explain failures and procrastination.
The blaming game is an easy one to play. Yet you are always losing when you’re playing the blame game. The accountability game is a much more heavy and painful one to play and bear.
Don’t get me wrong. Some of the excuses you can come up with are reasonable and justified. You can always place the blame on the government, your spouse, the economy and the list goes on and on...
You might be right. How well does it serve you to always claim the “woe is me card” I will give you a example from my life. 4-5 years ago my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone.
We had been together under the same roof for almost 3 years. She was in Milan for a few months and I was waiting for her in Shanghai. I will spare you the details of our breakup and skip to my point. One day I woke up and the relationship was over.
You don’t really know how you are going to react till it happens to you. I was never really one to blame others. I have always been the one to blame myself. Blaming yourself and/or others is a zero sum game. Blaming yourself could even be worse than blaming others.
Your guilt can lead to a lot of downtrodden paths, of which I would not recommend. Being accountable is not carrying the blame and loading up on guilt. Those feelings weigh heavy on your shoulders.
Being accountable is taking responsibility for what happened. And that’s what I did. I did not feel some resentment towards her. And it did took me a few months to realise what I knew deep down.
I was not a good boyfriend. She wasn’t necessarily the best time but we were not a match made in heaven but how does it help me to blame her ? It does not and it’s unfair to myself, to her and the good of our past relationship.
I had to somehow review what had happened and realised, much to my chagrin, that I could have done things so much better. Or at least end it before some of the unnecessary suffering we had to go through. I owned it and it gave me such a great understanding of relationships and myself.
The wisdom you get from being accountable is limitless. You’re putting yourself in a position that is vulnerable and uncomfortable. While at the same time expanding your views and approach to things.
Jordan Peterson says that we need to be accountable for our own actions first and foremost. Oftentimes, especially at a young age, we want to change the world and we think we know better.
We want to critic and oppose things that are oftentimes, far beyond our reach, grasp and years. Things we can’t fathom at such a young and tender age. What Jordan Peterson says makes sense.
He claims that we as human being and especially young people, should first take responsibility for our lives before trying to self-righteously “change the world” Being accountable is exactly that. Looking at ONE’S life and seeing the areas where improvements are needed.
Those improvements will change your life incrementally and significantly over time. David Goggins was a former navy seal and ultra marathon runner. He use to weight over 300lbs. As a young kid and all up to his young adult self. He had to go through racism, abuse and lots of self-loathing.
However his life took a turn when he finally started to be accountable for actions and self-imposed beliefs. He also had problems with his education because he could not learn in school. He had an awful, insignificant job and was pretty much wasting his life because of fear.
When he decided to be accountable, he did not say : “woe is me” . He had already done this for years. Instead, he said to himself that he was a fat, dumb and useless man. From there on, he went to become an accomplished navy seal and ultramarathon runner and so much more than this. He used to be a horrible student nowadays his book is on the best selling library shelves of the world.
Kobe Bryant is known for his hard work and dedication to the game of basketball. He is also known to be one of the greatest player to ever graced the nba courts. As he became a veteran on the Los Angeles Lakers. He had to lead younger players to be better teammates in order to increase the chances of winning a championship.
When they would have back-to-back games. Which means playing two night in a row. Some of the youngest players would want to go out and party. They would find themselves in NY or Miami and the temptation to go out was just too hard not to succumb to.
KB wanted to teach those guys a lesson. He said to his teammates that he would go out and get drinks with them, but the next day he would bang on their doors at 5am in the morning.
He would say : “I hung out with you now its your turn to hangout with me”
They would go through the workout, the practice and the game completely and utterly exhausted. The lesson was learned. We have a responsibility to own up to our actions because as teammate or even as leader.
What we do matters and if we have a role we need to lead by example to act it to the best of our own abilities. Scroll down for more. Get one of our ebooks if you want to improve your life and learn more.
- Sebastien Grynko