Should you stop caring about other people's opinions ?
Should you stop caring about other people's opinions ?
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We are social creatures and no matter how much it hurts us to admit it, our reputation matters. We choose an identity to show the world and expect people to see us in a certain light.
Even those who think they are immune to what other people think of them, like the rebels, are not as dissident as you may think.
They want to be identified as rebellious and different and their identity is strengthened through the eyes of others. In fact they are just conforming in a very consensual and insecure way, generally speaking.
Rare are those who really transcend and are truly rebellious. Through social media, you see a lot of people who claim to be different, unique and crazy and also claim not to care about what other people think.
It is ironic that the ego and wallets of some of this people depend on those narcissistic metrics of likes, comments and feedbacks. What most of them are trying to say is that they want you to perceive them as such.
To be truly different is to be barely accepted by society. To be really dissident is to risk your life for who you are and your ideas. Remember those people who have been sent to the gulags?
Don’t be fooled. Most of us do care what other people think. It is actually not such a bad thing when we know what to value and what not to. First and foremost, one needs to find their own truth and path which can take a lifetime or more if you believe in reincarnation.
By finding yourself and “who you are”, it will become polarising and that’s not an easy position to be in. I mentioned above about the fake rebels. On the other side of the coin are the people pleaser who often are just afraid of being honest and true to themselves.
This is a tough position. Wanting to be loved by the masses is a very insecure and unfulfilling way to live a life. A lot of celebrities suffer from it. Many actors want to be famous, to be loved and acclaimed yet it is hard to always conform to the ideal image people and media have fabricated.
You can’t really voice your true opinion unless this opinion goes along with the status quo so as an actor, you have to conform to the doxa and play a role on and off the screen.
Therefore if they fart in the wrong direction, they can just kiss their career, their fame, their adulation bye bye... It is not such a bad thing, I would say, because the alternative will probably lead you to depression and suicide.
How many of you are living a life always trying to please others and are not worried about being true to yourselves? To be authentic is hard because we do care how other people perceive us and it is not something we can just turn off.
We are social mammals. We don’t want to be rejected by the group. So if being a fake rebel is not a good idea and being a people pleaser is no better. What can we really do ?
Well, we can take time to be more self-aware of what we are denying ourselves. Are you afraid to speak up? To do things that your heart tells you to do ?
Whatever you do in life, if you are true to yourself and really true to your heart’s desires you can’t go wrong.
People will judge. You’ll be more polarising and you’ll have haters. Do not hate back. Try to be for something, instead of always being against everything.
You’ll learn to be humble and more caring. You will also realise that following one’s heart might be a lonely journey at times.
Yet on this journey, you’ll find people whose opinion really matters as opposed to those who hate. Learn to care for opinions and perspectives that matter but stay open to the critics and the haters.
Some of the greatest lessons can be learned from those who hate. Don’t be dogmatic. Don’t be proud of being different. Be at peace with being yourself and only good will prevail.
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About the Author
Sebastien Grynko
As a meditation teacher, a fitness & and muay thai fanatic/enthusiast with a taste for entrepreneurship. He decided to create a business which can combine all his passions and inspire people all over the world by helping people physically, mentally and spiritually to find their purpose, well-being and health to thrive and contribute to this world.
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