LIFE HAPPENS FOR YOU
LIFE HAPPENS FOR YOU
- Sebastien Grynko
Life happens for you and not to you. Is this small change subtle or what? Yet it carries more significance than it might appear. I write this article for selfish reasons. I write to brainwash myself with this concept.
However, I hope we can all benefit from it, each in our own way. We are all guilty to a certain degree of being control freaks. We expect a certain outcome and do our best to bend the reality, our will to fit the image of the world we hold so dearly in our vision.
And guess what? I think most of you will be able to relate and feel the sting of it. It’s unbelievably tiring and frustrating. But don’t get me wrong, you can get your desired outcome by pushing, bending and sheer willpower.
However, there are a lot of side effects that come with exerting such consuming effort. Stress, sickness, frustration, self-consciousness, depression.. If you’re an athlete injuries, etc, etc...
One other thing is that it does not make life very enjoyable. I am not saying that one should be idle, lazy and that everything that one does should be pleasurable.
If that’s the case, we won’t be achieving much, that is worthwhile in this life. One should be consistent and disciplined. One should also have inspiration in a particular calling to be able to sustain oneself through trials and tribulations.
How much is too much though ? The more we try to control... The more we will get frustrated.. Why ? Because life is always sarcastically reminding us how little control we actually have. Therefore always trying to live a life made "by us" does not mean that it will always occur and happen by our effort.
We shape the world with ur efforts, our actions but they can only take you so far and even if it does bring you to the promised land, it will probably kill you (i.e Steve Jobs).
I will give you a few examples. You hire someone and train this person. He does a good job and all is well. But he decides to leave and get another position somewhere else.
Now you have to recruit someone else and the process starts all over again. You take it all in stride because your will is strong. Along with this strength, the stress and frustration accumulate.
You start a diet and a workout regimen. You expect to look a certain way after the completion of the year. You’re diligent and consistent for months on end.
Something happens. Life happens. Now you can’t go to the gym. Maybe you had an accident. Maybe you got depressed or maybe all of sudden, you can’t afford to eat as well as you did previously.
Isn’t it unfair? You do your very best. You’re consistent, efficient and perseverant in your efforts. How dare life gets into the way ? Living life this way is very frustrating, unhealthily, counterintuitive and counterproductive.
What if we were to change the way we see things. Change our vantage point. Believing that life happens for us and not by us. The change in semantics is subtle but in life, it’s grandiose.
Don’t be fooled by the change of prepositions. The difference is like day and night.
Leading a life which we believe happens for us, is living a life in which everything happens to us for a greater purpose.
Which means first and foremost, we live a life of GRATITUDE. Yes, I said it. We don’t question whether it is good or bad. When it happens we know that it will lead to a greater good.
Of course we make adjustments along the way to make sure that we are going the right way. When I get to a new place, I like to walk around, check where I am at and decide where I want to go.
Once I have chosen my destination, I vaguely check how to go there and get out of the hotel, my room, my apartment and start searching. I always get lost because I don’t care much about how I get there.
I know eventually that I will get there. And you know what happens when I am searching ? I discover places that I would not have otherwise and see interesting things. I go with the flow.
I don’t look for the shortest way to get there. It’s my first time and I am not in a rush. The same can be said about life and sometimes the longest way is the shortcut. Life does not happen in any particular way but its own way.
But interestingly enough when we truly let go and just focus on putting the RIGHT effort and the RIGHT focus, life tends to happen for us in a smoother way. By being grateful we do not fight life.
We go along with it. We understand that life, like the weather is unpredictable. So instead of having a fixed plan, we have a vision, a destination and we know we can achieve and reach this place.
We need to let go of trying to control. Put our maximum effort where we can. The outcome is not something we can bend to our will, instead we can just flow and take a few steps closer in the right direction and adjust along the way.
Life happens for you. Keep this in mind. Don’t get frustrated. Be grateful. Don’t give up, just adapt. Getting from point A to point B is possible but sometimes the longest way is not only the shortest but the best way.
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- Sebastien Grynko