I was supposed to write this post right after the first day of this New year, but I failed to do so. You know what they say : We make plans and God laughs at them.

 

I think we should laugh at ourselves more often and not take things so seriously. How many times have I beaten on myself for not living up to the expectations I had set.

 

I am not handsome enough. I am not good enough. I am not worthy enough and the list just goes on and on and on. Truthfully this list is never ending unless we decide to hit the breaks.

 

One thing that I have realized through my own experience and also through my observation of others, is that forgiveness is not always easy to apply in one’s life, especially and I really, really want to emphasize, the forgiveness we are SUPPOSED to give to ourselves.

 

This one is soooo hard. Forgiving others can actually be a walk in the park compare to forgiving oneself. The latter is more like walking in a storm.

 

When we forgive others, we find a way in our hearts to help them, relieve them and release them, of the guilt they might have.

 

However hard it might be, the guilt they have is not the one we carry around, whereas forgiving oneself is not necessarily a one time thing. That guilt we have, is a burden that is hard to let go of.

 

 

It keeps us miserable. We might project it on the world and on others but ultimately, it is here in us and is here to stay, unless we do something about it.

 

Yes my friends, we have failed but not failed to be successful or wealthy or attractive. We have failed to be more loving. We have failed to be more accepting. We have failed to have compassion for ourselves.

 

When I was in the meditation centre, twelve years ago, on my first day, I met the abbot of the temple. I asked him if I will learn to have more compassion for others when I learn meditation.

 

He paused, smiled and answered : You will learn to have more compassion for yourself. I was flabbergasted. I was speechless.

 

That is something that I was not taught. In our world, we talk about self-sacrifice and living with the guilt of whatever we think we have done wrong. We live to love and forgive others but we fail to do it for ourselves.

 

After years of meditation and “struggle” with my mind. I have learned to let go of a lot of guilt and resentment. And sometimes I think to myself that others don’t feel that guilt anymore as well, but that’s not true.

 

So many of us carry around that weight, that pain, that guilt, that burden, that should be alleviated. We don’t need to carry this around anymore.

 

I am here to tell you, no matter who you are, no matter what you have done. It’s ok to let go. It’s ok to forgive yourself and move on to greener pasture, to more peaceful pasture.

 

 

You might think that not everything can be forgiven. Well who are we to judge ? As Tupac said : "Only God can Judge". And even if you don’t believe in God, like me. There is always karma.

 

What goes around, comes around but it’s not your role to punish yourself. Don’t see this world as one where eternal damnation awaits you. Don’t beat yourself up for crying out loud.

 

No matter how shitty you might feel. No matter how fuckup your situation is, there are things in you that are worthy of love.

 

There is goodness in you. There are beautiful features and blessings you have yet to unfold, to unearth.

 

I know it’s not easy and it will take time. Be patient and take the necessary steps. Remember, it is as simple as putting one foot in front of another.

 

Stop feeling guilt about your circumstances, of what you think you should do or should not do, or should have done or should have not done.

 

When I was in the meditation centre we would say a particular mantra before starting to meditate.

"If I have done harm to others or myself, by speech, action or thought, I now forgive myself."

 

I want you guys to use this mantra and start basking in the relief of your OWN forgiveness.

 

Forgiveness

 

I ask for pardon

I ask for redemption

I ask for compassion

I ask for elation

 

I need forgiveness

I need gentleness

I need tenderness

I need kindness

 

I want to believe

I want to relief

I want to leave

I want to forgive

 

I am free

I am free

I am free

I am free

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