As a woman what are the things you should do and things you might not want to do in a relationship.
Dos and don’ts
-Do not belittle him in public or in private even if you are joking.
humour is important but you need to set some boundaries
You can’t make him appear inferior.
Banter is cool but if you push it and him too much.
you will become more of an annoying “bro” than an attractive prospect.
-Support your man in every way you can. Make him feel that he is important for you and your well being. If he has a dream, a vision encourage him. When he is in doubt. Crush those doubts.
Let him know that you are there for him. Loyalty and devotion are SUPER attractive attributes.
-Do not nag your man.
If you treat him like a little kid he will feel like a little boy and eventually start behaving like one that fears a mother rather than enjoying his lover
Avoid condescending behaviours and demeanours such as looking down on him literally and figuratively. Treat him as an equal partner. Ask for his help and opinion.
Use your charms and wits efficiently when in a argument or other time He will melt and listen to whatever you have to said.
-Do not (constantly ) refuse sex.
A key important aspect of a relationship is the sexual part each partner wants to be with just that person instead of playing the field looking on tinder and chasing elsewhere
Make him feel you want him. Surprise him with new lingerie and “special dates”. Keep him on his toes and keep the fire burning.
-Do not start neglecting yourself and your appearance.
It’s easy getting in a relationship just to let yourself go a little... Self-care needs to go continue throughout one’s relationship such as working out, going to get facials, making yourself feel well will in turn help the relationship
It is important for a relationship to work for men and women to keep their essence in masculinity and femininity.
A little effort goes a long way. Take care of yourself, your man. Your relationship will blossomed fully
Meditate
For those of you who know me enough. You knew this was coming. And I had to deliver.
Meditation is for me, the one thing I have to do when I wake up. If I don’t my days usually go in the wrong direction.
Meditation gives you clarity of mind and purpose. It also gives you the ability to cope with the flow of the day and be better prepared to face the inevitable obstacles and hurdles.
I recommend 5-10 minutes. You don’t need to do it for 30minutes if you don’t have the time.
Check my free ebook on meditation and/or my video on meditation if you want to know more.
-#2
Affirmations & visualization
Another great thing to do in the morning. Visualize your goals and aspirations. This is the greatest time to do that and a lot of high achievers recommend it as a skill for better performance.
You haven’t been caught up in the day yet so you can have the energy and the focus to self-inspire.
Visualize and affirm your vision. Do this before or after meditation. Muster the positive emotions and see your goals as already achieved.
You can do this for 5 minutes. You will usually feel good so you’ll probably want to stretch it out a bit longer. You can also visualise the way you want your day to go.
-#3
Workout
Get the blood flowing. You don’t need to workout too long or even intensely.
Tim Ferriss recommends just ten reps of one particular exercise instead of a workout.
This is just meant to wake the body up and get your muscle pumping.
I usually workout later in the morning but if you are lucky enough to be able to get a yoga session or a thai boxing session or a swim or a workout. Do it. That’s
really an amazing way to start the day.
You will feel so good when those endomorphins are released and your energy levels have increased.
-#4
Create
This is the one thing I do as soon as I am done meditating and visualizing.
This is my creative moment of the day. Some are able to do it throughout the day at any given time.
I found for myself and a lot of people that the morning is the best time to create.
Why ?
Because that is usually when your energy and your happiness is at its highest because you have not been drained by the rest of your day yet.
Plus the meditation will put you in a empty space of mind which will help you tremendously to create something good.
Whatever your creative endeavours are. Do it. Write, paint, sculpt, mould, sing, act, make videos, etc...
-#5
Read
I do not mean reading social media or news feed. Nope. That’s a no-go.
Read something inspiring. Read something that will help you create. Something that will put you in better inspired mood.
Read something you really want to learn. James Altucher says he reads a bit of inspiring content, a bit of something he wants to learn and some fiction.
You don’t need to do exactly this. You can find something that works best for you. I usually read things to help me with my articles, videos and books.
I think the best thing you can do is read something that will give inspiration for the day ahead.
Only read positive stuff in the morning. You don’t want to start your day depressed.
Avoid the news at all cost.
-#6
Take a cold shower. Forget about the coffee. This will make you feel good and energized from the inside out.
When you take a cold shower your breathing will get real deep and fast which gives your body a great pump.
Not only that but your skin will feel great and smooth. It works better when you are in a cold country because you really feel the benefits of it after you’re done.
Jump in the shower and get 30 to 90s of cold. I would usually start with warm water and finish with cold water.
You can also shower the whole way through with cold water. The choice is yours.
-#7 Make your bed
If you haven’t watched the speech by Admiral McRaven I strongly recommend you do.
In his speech he put a great emphasis on making your bed in the morning.
Because the way you do the little things is the way you do the big things.
That’s very similar to the Jordan Peterson concept of cleaning your room.
I have been a neat freak for most of my life so that was never really an issue for me.
Nonetheless I do feel really good when my bed is made.
As the Admiral said it gives you a first accomplishment of the day and no matter how bad the rest of it is.
You will get to go back to a well-made bed and fall asleep.
-#8
Sex
This one is the best and also very underrated when it comes to morning routines.
This is inspiring, fun and it gives your body a good workout in the morning.
How many of us can have sex in the morning and still feel groggy after that.
It’s almost impossible. You might start slow and sluggish but once you’re off to the rails. It gets better.
It’s the best way to start a day.
I know it’s tough but those lights and screens will stimulate your mind unnecessarily at this hour and prevent you from falling asleep easily.
During this time you can meditate and/or read fiction. Do not read something that will stimulate your mind too much.
I usually meditate. Clear my mind. I might also do some loving and kindness meditation.
Keep the room as dark as possible and also wear a sleep mask.
The room should be as quiet as possible and you can use those white noise app.
I haven’t use them for a while but they can definitely help.
Keep the room nice and cool. It will help your body relax.
When you are in bed. Lying down under the blankets. Try to find the most comfortable position and relax your body as much as possible.
You want to take deep breaths and let go of any tension in your body.
Do not let your mind wonder in thoughts too much. Stay present and do not be anxious to fall asleep rapidly.
Enjoy and be grateful to be able to be in such a comfortable environment.
Picture yourself lying down on the grass and sleeping with a smile on your face.
You can list what you are grateful for and send love to the people you care about.
That’s a great way to fall asleep and have great dreams.
-Thou shall not take the easy route
Steroids might make you bigger and leaner but they might also make your testicules shrink and turn your chest to boobs
-Thou shall be realistic about your goals
You will probably never look like Lebron James or Thor but you will look your best self
-Thou shall not be impatient
You won’t get ripped after 3 months. But you might after a 12 to 18 months
-Thou shall eat enough
If you want to get big you must eat big
-Thou should not get fat
Eating big is not an excuse to eat whatever you want. Eat just enough to get bigger.
-Thou shall use the right training
Don’t sweat it. Lift heavy and heavier a little bit over time. Find a good program and stick to it.
-Thou shall use proper technique
Learn the proper form and women will be warm from your form
-Thou shall sleep enough
Get your sleep on or forget about gains -Thou shall not covet another man’s body
Be happy and visualise your best self. Do not expect to get someone’s else body
-Thou shall keep a log
Write down everything you eat and everything you have lifted.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Steps to greatness -Find your purpose
A lot of what you think you want has been conditioned by your peers, family and society. To find what you really want, you need to search deep. Few will know exactly what they want in life. Most of us have glimpses of our path, therefore, we need to follow our intuition and let our hearts show the way.
-Be your true self
Once you find your purpose and to a further extent “yourself”. You will have to embrace it for better or for worse. We are far from being perfect. We all have our shadow as Carl Jung said but we need not be afraid of who we are. For who we are is a very complex thing. However, we can learn to investigate, contemplate and how to cope with our shadow and nurture our higher self and destroy our lesser self. There is no faking it. Better to be hated for who you are then be loved for who you are not.
-Do not care about what people think of you (most of the time)
When you are being yourself, you are not wearing the people-pleaser mask anymore. You are going to be more polarizing and people will think of you being different. The difference will be in you and now you can’t hide anymore. Stay true to yourself but don’t be conceited. This is not an invitation to be an asshole. Take the feedback from the people who are part of your tribe and even the negative feedback that could be constructive even though it hurts.
-Do not get lost in the words of others
This is a kind of follow-up to the step above. Be it praise or blame, you need a certain level of detachment. Words can make you conceited, arrogant, angry, depressed, frustrated and it will always be so. See the blame and praise for what they are... just words... transient and ephemeral as anything else. Take a moment, ponder upon them. Take what is needed from those words and move forward.
-Be disciplined
Regardless of what you want to achieve, you’ll need to put in some consistent heavy lifting which is not glamorous. Everybody wants the highlights but don’t want to go through the daily grind that is mundane and not so glamorous at all.
-The way you do small things is the way you do great things
Following to what I said above ... small incremental steps will get you to the top of the mountain. DO NOT underestimate the power of the small things. How fit would you be if you were to exercise 15minutes per day ? How much weight would you lose if you were to reduce calories by 100 every 3 days ? How much of a new language can you learn by practicing it just 30minutes a day? How fluent will you be in 1 year or 2 or 3 ? How much more knowledge would you acquired if you were to read for 20 minutes a day ? How much more peace would you have if you were to meditate for 15minutes a day ? Do the small things consistently and great things will happen.
-Showing up -Find strategies
They say doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. When you are doing the small things, you need strategies to figure out the
progress you are making and how to move forward. You will have to research. Find the mentors. The books. The courses... To help you get better and more efficient in what you do.
-Set your mind
Your mindset is incredibly important. You will need to believe and know that you can achieve whatever you set your mind on. You have to believe wholeheartedly that your vision can become concrete. You also have to know that hurdles and pitfalls will come your way and nothing will come easy. But in following this, your heart will be breaking over and over again and yet the journey is about transcending and achieving greatness.
How to fast ?
Duh!! It’s so simple you just stop eating ?
I could stop the video right now but I won’t because I am kind.
Attention please
Beware do not start fasting like a crazy mofo if you have never done this before.
Start with IF
Intermittent fasting
Eat within a smaller window of time.
For example eat all your meals during a 8 hours window and fast for the other 16 hours.
If you’re a beginner you can just cut out one meal. If you’re eating three meals a day just cut off breakfast or dinner. It will be easier and it will automatically make the eating windows 4-8 hours and the fasting window 16-20 hours.
Water fasting
Pretty self-explanatory
You don’t eat anything for a certain period of time. One day, two days all up to 15 or more days.
But you can binge on water.
Easy peasy
Dry fasting
Also pretty simple concept
No eating and no drinking for a certain period of time.
Word of caution
This is the toughest much more than the water fast
Do not start with this one if you have not prior experience.
You can do it anywhere from 36 hours up to 8 days.
Again ease into it. Practice if and water fasting first.
What are the benefits.
Well do it and see it for yourself.
What’s the point of me telling you. Every body is different.
I just want to say that we overindulge in food too much. Even poor people (not all of them) are fat.
Give your digestive system a rest and see for yourself how much stronger you actually are.
To recap
intermittent fasting
On a daily basis Eat within a window of time and fast during a longer window of time
Water fasting
Longer fast. No food just water 1-15 days
Dry fasting
No food and no water. 1-8 days
You can also do intermittent dry fasting
Only food and water during the eating phase and no food and water during the fasting phase.
How to meditate everyday for 5 minutes Do it first thing when you wake up
Why ?
Well first get a good night sleep
Perfect time for meditation
Go to the toilet before. Do what you have to do. Go back to your bed or meditation area
You can place a cushion behind your back
Try to keep your back straight
Cross your legs
Put your hands together between your legs
You don’t need to be too strict with your posture and hands but you need to find the most relaxing position for you which does NOT mean going back to sleep.
We’re meditators not nazis
Close your eyes
Pay attention to the rising and falling of your stomach as you breathe in and out. Whatever happens you’ll always go back to following the rising and falling
Obviously other things will happen. No matter what happens you’ll just notice it and go back to the rising and falling
If it is a thought just say to yourself thinking.. if it is image just say to yourself seeing. If its a noise just say to yourself hearing.
You get the gist of it.
Do not let anybody fool you
When you begin that’s all you need to do
Be aware and be kind
Accept everything and know everything
You won’t be able to always be 100% aware sometimes you might be 1% aware
That’s when the kindness should kick in.
You are not trying to achieve anything in meditation.. just be aware.
To recap
Find a good position
Close your eyes
Relax your body
Rising and falling of the stomach Observe, note and let go
Are medias and entertainment corrupting our minds ?
“Tittytainment" was a term coined by Zbigniew Brzezinski, the National Security advisor of US president Jimmy Carter, essentially to convey the thought that a mixture of "intoxicating entertainment and sufficient nourishment" can "tranquilize the frustrated minds of the globe's population."
Here’s another quote for you guys
“No leisure from pleasure”
~ A brave new work of Alders Huxley ~
One of the things that comes in abundance in our modern societies is entertainment.
One only has to look at the amount of tv shows to realise how much of it is available.
You could spend your whole life watching tv series and you would still have so much to watch by the time you are six feet under.
Don’t even get me started on porn. You would likely end up with a broken wrist or two! Medias are the other side of the same coin.
Medias trigger and implement fear into your psyche. Media corporations survive through their viewership.
Read Ryan Holiday’s book on media manipulation to know more.
Negative emotions such as fear and anger make people share and view more of the content.
Nobody gives a **** about so and so doing good or so and so making lives better of blablabla
Boring....
Definitely not “news” worthy. It might put a smile on your face or even inspire you for a brief moment.
But the next thing you are going to discuss at the watercooler with your colleagues is Kim Kardashian millionth picture of her infamous butt cheeks and how arabs are really not nice people coz they behead people on camera.
On one hand, you have entertainment brainwashing you into ignorance and on the other hand, medias are scaring the **** out of you and making you infuriated.
As soon as you turn on the tv, all your prime instincts and worst emotions are being triggered. New bias and information or maybe even propaganda (dare I say ?) are knocking on your amygdala’s door.
I am not saying that there is a closed secret group of highly powerful people who are trying to manipulate the world at large. Keeping us dumb and ignorant when they are not having their bimonthly ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ parties where they fuck goats, sacrifice toddlers and defecate on young virgins. Even though there is some evidence to this claim.
But that’s not the point that I am trying to come across.
Laozi wrote that if you want to keep people happy and under your control, keep their bellies full and their brains empty.
In the Hindu cosmology, we refer to our current epoch as the Kali Yuga. The age of Kali.
The lesser of all ages where humans are supposedly at their worst. The hindus say that in this age, people will only think of satisfying their bellies and genitalia.
Sounds like a party right ?
So are we all made to be ignorant fucks ?
Maybe... Probably... Who knows ?
Is there some kind of invisible force at work here ?
Evil ? Well that’s what the monotheistic religions will have you believe.
The buddhist think there is no evil only ignorance.
And I tend to agree with that statement. There is no evil, only ignorance. By that, I mean the lack of wisdom and reason.
Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. So when your ego gets going and got no reason to stop, then things can run wild.
The selfish egotistical desire of a few can make the world a much worse place.
But I digress...
Each and every one of us is not a victim of a system. We are all culprits to a lesser extent but we still are.
We chose to participe in the cultivation of our ignorance when we willingly overindulge in exposure to medias and entertainment.
We have to chose deliberately and carefully what we listen, what we hear and what we watch.
If your go-to song is “Bitch Please II “ by Eminem and you listen to this song repeatedly while watching s&m porn.. your views on women might be a little bit skewed.
Obviously, I am exaggerating.. but you get the point.
Your mind is malleable and it will be conditioned to what you expose it to frequently without you knowing it.
Medias might tell you that some celebrities in Tinsel town are suffering from a particular disease and those are the symptoms... Few months go by and you start to see more and more reports of this disease. That’s what happened with anorexia.
Don’t be naive. We are products of our environment. Expose yourself to more of the right things and do not overindulge in entertainment and all forms of media be it social or corporate.