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You don't own the person you are with

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You don't own the person you are with

  • Akhiless Pratap
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You don't own the person you are with

A relationship is like a cage but this cage is always open. The person you are with can stay or go, but you can’t close to the door of this cage.

 

What you can do, is make this cage the perfect place so that nobody would ever even think of leaving it.

 

When you are in a relationship, oftentimes we think that the person we are with, is our possession.

I think a lot of it has to do with the prepositions we use. We say things like my husband, my wife, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, etc...

 

Obviously it is much easier to say that someone is your girlfriend/boyfriend then saying that this person is the person that you share my life with.

 

Perhaps we should say this and avoid the possessive prepositions all together. Just a thought.

 

Because in reality we don’t possess anybody. Only slave owners own humans and karma will get them eventually.

 

The person you are with, is not a toy, a trophy or a material good. This is a person with a heart, desires, idiosyncrasies and quirks. Those things are fleeting and can change at the drop of a hat.

 

We have to understand that relationships run they course, some last a lifetime and some don’t. It is not necessarily a good or a bad thing.

 

We need to nurture the relationship while we are in it and prevent future regrets and bitterness.

 

It starts by understanding that the person you are with is a separate entity, a separate being and a separate heart.

 

It’s not two halves that make a whole. No. That’s being dependent on someone. That’s the need for someone not the want for someone.

 

Two hearts that beat as one, is a better metaphor because it involves team work and understanding.

 

There is a need for alignment and good rhythm and those things need caring and effort.

 

We all have expectations and requirements when it comes to relationships and those are fine, if you are not putting the bar too high but once in a relationship, things will go to shit every now and then, because we are only human.

 

If you are on the same page to begin with. The relationship should be easier.

I heard that loving someone is being a mirror of a person’s best potential, to see in your partner the best they can be and nurture the relationship and help them achieve their potential.

 

When you possess, you tend to see the not-so-good and want to change it. When you love you see the good and encourage it.

 

You see the bad too but you choose to water the plants not the weeds. Slowly but surely you will get rid of the bad leaves and the plants will grow stronger and more beautiful.

 

Attachment tells you that this person is not good enough the way they are right are right now. Detachment tells you that is person has so much good in them.

Attachment is ego based. Detachment is heart based. The ego is selfish. Detachment has no self. It understands the bad, it let goes of it, to see and encourage the good.

 

In a relationship there is not supposed to be any possession or ownership. There is supposed to be love and understanding. Caring and forgiveness. The things we don’t like in them are also in ourselves.

 

Let go and let grow

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About the Author

Sebastien Grynko

As a meditation teacher, a fitness & and muay thai fanatic/enthusiast with a taste for entrepreneurship. He decided to create a business which can combine all his passions and inspire people all over the world by helping people physically, mentally and spiritually to find their purpose, well-being and health to thrive and contribute to this world.

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